My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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