Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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