Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We smell like vodka and hangover
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