this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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