This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Jerry, you need to find god
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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