I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
