We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize