singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
