Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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