Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
