Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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