New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
