Apparently you make a good broom.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
