You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
