Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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