Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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