I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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