If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
