white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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