so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
