I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
