Sponge bath it is.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
