i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
