i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
