My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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