so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
