yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
