names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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