im drinking this country out of the recession.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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