you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
