just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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