Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize