my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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