She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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