so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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