dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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