I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
