so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm at about main and main street
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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