I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
