The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize