Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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