Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
