My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
