left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
