Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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