Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
