weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize