Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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