Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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