so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
