well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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