just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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