I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
