i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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