Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
