And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
