I wish my penis had an off switch
Your dad touched me again.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
