we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
