i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize