She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
