I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize