So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
