Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
