every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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