seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
