remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
as a side note pls kill me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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