it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize