the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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